Love and Relationships in Zambia, Decisions about Relationships and Young Women in Zambia, Making Decisions about Life and Work in Zambia and more on Mywage Zambia
It is believed that love transcends skin colour, but for most young women living in Livingstone, the tourist capital of Zambia, it does not. Agatha Chanda, a young working woman based in Livingstone, shared with MyWage Zambia, her joy at finding love and her frustration at losing it when she fell in love with a foreign national.
MyWage: Tell us about yourself and Livingstone as a tourist capital city.
Agatha: I am single and happily expecting a baby soon. I am a designer, chef and wedding planner and currently working in a bridal shop, although my dream is to eventually run my own business. Well, Livingstone being a tourist destination has a lot of tourists and expatriate people working here.
MyWage: Do you think the presence of tourists has any impact on locals especially women?
Agatha: Young people like me face many challenges in Livingstone because of it being a tourist destination. Many young women believe that they should have men with money (like tourists) and as such most end up not getting married due to these expectations. Others end up with older men who are married and lavish them with expensive gifts and cash. This then raises the issue of HIV/AIDS.
Peer pressure and competition has led many of us to make wrong decisions just because we want to fit in. You will notice that there are a lot of coloured children in Livingstone – this is because of tourists who entertain young women during their visits here and then dump them and return to their own countries.
MyWage: From what you are saying, the women you are referring to are unemployed and desperate. What about working women, can they find love with a tourist?
Agatha: A few years ago I fell in love with and dated a Japanese tourist/expatriate who was working here for some time. We really loved each other and we planned to relocate to Japan together eventually. However, when people got wind of my relationship, I received very strong criticism especially from my parents who threatened to disown me if I pursued the relationship. My friends and relatives also condemned me saying all I wanted from this man was money when in fact we were truly in love.
People generally take anyone befriending such people as being gold diggers. I was very hurt over this situation as my relationship had to end in order for me to have peace. I now realise I had the right to make my own decision in this matter. Parents still have too much influence in the choice of a marriage partner. As a young woman you are not given the chance to make your own decision about who you should marry.
MyWage: Is society’s influence on a young woman’s life only restricted to relationships?
Agatha: No. In most workplaces people don’t respect young women despite our qualifications and skills. For instance, I am a very experienced chef but because of my age and small body (I am on the slim side) it hinders me from getting the type of job I deserve (I long to be a chef in a five star hotel). I have attended many interviews and despite my qualifications I am still considered not good enough, especially that I am also single.
Some organisations have told me they can’t hire a female chef because women are lazy and soon start to complain about standing for long hours in the kitchens, and they also want too many days off. It is even worse now that I am expecting a baby, as no one will give me a chance. They say I will need a lot of time off for maternity leave and taking the baby to the clinic once the baby is here.
MyWage: As a young woman what do you hope for yourself?
Agatha: As a young lady who has made many wrong decisions in my life, I feel I should not be judged according to those mistakes, but rather on what I have learned and my willingness to change and move on.
I also dream of owning a designing firm and bridal restaurant where I can also make a variety of wedding cakes and function menus. But my dream is hanging because no one will give a young girl like me a chance to prove myself.
And it has affected my self confidence. For instance, personally I have problems with people trusting me with their work - who would give a young girl like me K2 million to make their wedding gown? Whoever comes wants to meet my boss first, even if I am the designer, because they don’t trust that I can do the job.
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